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O Sister, Why Art Thou?

Having a smart older sister who outshines you in school is not a very favorable situation to land into. Ok, before my brother slaps his lawyers on me, let me rephrase that sentence quickly. Having an older sister in school is not a very favorable situation to land into. Period.

When I walked pass the school staff-room, Asha miss called me in a stressed-out, worried voice. Thinking that the worst had happened (like me falling short of the highest grade by half a percentage), I scurried in looking vaguely embarrassed as other teachery eyes fell on me and took mental note. ‘Yes, miss?’ I ask patronizingly.

“I’m checking your brother’s Biology record book. How difficult is it to draw a plant? Does this look remotely like a plant?”

“hmm…not exactly. If I were to use words to describe that, I would say it looks like frog’s mucous that developed tentacles.” I breathed a sigh of relief knowing this was not about me. hehe.. This is so cool. My brother is in trouble.. tralala.

“Yes! This boy needs serious improvement. Look at his handwriting. Why does it look like a cockroach walked on an ink pad and later decided to run amok on his note books?”

Composing my exhilarated self and putting mature thoughts in my head, I said, ‘Ermm…He is not as artistic as me. I’ll draw his records from next time and spare you the torture, miss.’ I got a what-a-saint-she-is look from Asha miss. And I also got a slave for a few months if I kept this from parents.

Some months later,
I had to pass my bro’s classroom to get some water, when I spotted him…not in his class, but outside it…jeering at his classmates and making faces at the teacher.

Jeez! That kid is ruining our family name!!

Again I was summoned by the teacher in charge. “Your brother has been punished again for disrupting class peace. Very naughty fellow. He’s making innocent plump Vivek also like him.”

‘Yes miss, I will tell my parents about this and save little plump Vivek’s future.’

Some years later,
his fate landed him in the same Engineering College as mine, a college known for merciless ragging/hazing. That year, anti-ragging committes were formed and things were slightly under control; but some elements got their way.

Information had leaked to me that a bunch of guys (3rd years) had decided to rag my brother and his friends outside the campus in a seedy restaurant. Sisterly instincts kicked in. More than that, it was the fury of freakin juniors trying to rag my brother! How dare they?! Puny 3rd years!

Being in final year gave me some weird guts to face this situation with my roomie and few other homies. Made back up arrangements if we ever died in the war-scene. We drove to the restaurant in question flaring, kicked a few chairs and created some unwanted ruckus before settling down or getting kicked out. After some serious waiting time (need to kill the informant for sending us early), the 3rd years walked in with the freshies. Thinking they'd pee in their pants on seeing us, they simply took their seats without even noticing us.

I stormed up to them, rolled my sleeves and demanded explanation, much to my brother’s mortification and shock. Threw in the Dean’s name, my grandpa’s name and associated myself with a few super goondas of the college.

‘Didi, we know your brother from high-school. We were trying to catch up. Since ragging is on high alert in the campus, we had to sneak in here lest they mistake us for *shudder* ragging them.’

‘Good try, kiddo! Stop didi-ing me. I know these tricks… been there, done that- you know! Scoot now and leave my baby brother alone!’

My brother, positively sick and about to throw up, took me aside and helplessly wailed, ’Stop creating a scene. These are my friends! …at least they ‘were’ my friends.’

Same college, a few months later,
‘I met your classmate Arjun in the hallway.’ my brother quipped as I saw him somewhere in campus.

‘Oh cool.’

Next day, I met the same Arjun. ‘Guess where I saw your kid brother?! At Bacchus Inn, in that movie theatre behind..you know where.. umm.. they show..’

‘Ok, Whatever! I got it!’

Hmpf! Hallway, eh?

When I left college, my brother’s was the happiest face in campus. … till he came to do masters in the same darned University I decided to go to.

He had become smarter over time; this time he joined after I graduated. To be safe, he even had a 2 year cushion period. But then, I had left a few spies (frustrated folks who were still doing Phd and would gladly undertake any kind of spying activitiy).

Now with me in Chicago and him in Seattle, I’m sure he still wonders what more damage I can do. But I have to admit, in spite of this, he turned out all right… way better than me! *pats my back*

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